Im having a hard time getting my ideas down today. I cant seem to type out what i want to say very well. My post today might be very random or hard to read just so you all know lol...

Im sick with just a normal cold. it still sucks though. It's summer and Im hoping to see my girlfriend today. She had been busy for the last 2 days...ya 2 days and I miss her like crazy.

Her and I have had our arguments in the past but I love her even more for them. it shows she cares for me more then Ive had anyone else do. my one hope is that we love each other just as much as we did when our relationship was newer.

Arg, im getting a bit frustrated. Im not feeling im getting my ideas out still....this post is taking forever.

I guess I say those things about me and my g/f because i reread a post she had posted months ago about me. I loved to read it again but it made me wanted to change recent events. Her and I have argued, some major some not. I know we love each other but the fact that some of these arguements happened almost feels like stain on a police record you want to fix. I want to show her how much i really love her and hope we can get back into almost a honey moon phase again. I want to do everything in my power to change this.

It is things like these that I both love and hate to look into the past. You can never really know how someone will take what you are saying. Most of the time when i say things like this, Im not talking about 1 particular incident that might be negitive or positive. I usually mean well.

Her life is still a bit crazy with school amongst other things, and I want to know her and be with her for the rest of my life. Due to various stresses both she and I have, which I am not getting into, marriage might or might not happen in the future. That might be jumping the gun in some peoples eyes, but not me. I can still see a future with her. She knows I want to marry her and Im certain if these stresses in our lives were different she would be wanting the same...but if I have to settle for just friends that is ok too. I know for a big chunk of time, I will be hurting that I lost the love of my life but most people dont realize how strong our friendship is. She is an amazing person.

Anyways, enough said about that. I seem to not have much trouble getting my ideas down anymore but that doesnt mean I dont feel I have gotten out everything i could have. Hopefully I'm understood...time will tell. Weird how your brain works huh?

Im really getting anxious for the new season of Smallville. I cant wait for it. I love the superman story and I cant get enough from wherever it comes from.

Also, come October a new computer game is coming out that both my friend myles and I will be playing. It looks really kick ass and he is the one who told me about it. if you want to check it out here is the link, you will have to copy and paste it in tho...im feeling a bit lazy and I dont want to spend the time to add it in my links properly lol.

No matter what happens though, im sure my girl wont like me to play this game as much as I would like too lol...just as well, the last time the game makers (of this game) made a game i got addicted to it hardcore. lol...good thing i have friends to help me out now. love you all :)

www.hellgatelondon.com

so I think that is all for now...hopefully today works out for the best. later all.

I love you honey! :)